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My story

Ive never really properly introduced myself.
So here it is.

My names Evangelina-Rose Lambert
Im 3/4 italian and Im 15.
My friends call me Rosie and I've been struggling with anorexia since I was seven.

I hate psychologists who think they know whats wrong

- its not about control
- its not because I idolise skinny models
- its not because I was bullied

At seven who the only idols I had were Barbie and my mum.
And Im not prepared to blame my disease on a doll. 
I hate people who think its about attention, that its not real, and they understand.

Unless you've suffered with it you will never understand.

At 10 I was taken into hospital where the stuck a tube down my throat, which i ripped out so much they had to secure it on with this special stuff.

Whilst in hospital I discovered Bulemia from my friend I made there.
So when I went home I ate infront of my family then went to the loo and threw up all of it.

I was then given a pyschologist and gradually become "normal"
Though I still ate far less than the average teen.

At 14 I slipped into drugs and become addicted to cocaine.
This fucked up my appetite thus the anorexia begun all over.

My mum, trying to wipe the slate clean, moved me last summer over a 150 miles away from everyone I loved.
A month later I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression.
I didnt sleep, I could clear my fridge in a day and spent the next month starving hungry.

I gradually made friends and sorted my life out.

This disease haunts me from when I wake till when I sleep.
Food makes me feel dirty and Im ashamed the minute it touches my lips.

This is my story.

If you've been through the same, Im here for you.

Writer's Block: I Left My Heart in...

I love Essex because Im right near London, near all the shops with all the beautful clothes, there's so many chances to do what you want, plus Im near the beach which is totally cute for summer :)

xxxxx

 

Writer's Block: Whose part would you play?

Id either love to be on

1) Skins
2)Dirty Sexy Money
3)Desperate Housewives
4)Ugly Betty
5)The Big Bang Theory.

All amazing shows, most of them with sexy clothes :)

I wouldnt turn down a part in Sex in The City either :)

xxx
If you could be cast on any TV show, from any time, who would you play?

:]

How stunning is Kiki Kannibal.
She's pure thinspiration!



Omg I love her figure.
Thats how I want to be - more pictures of me soon.
Once I've reached my target!

I've only got 11 days to do it!
Gym all week to try and burn off the amount my auntie Jackie made me eat this weekend.

I had about three slices of chocolate cake!

xxxx

FATFATFATFATFATFATFAT.

Today has been so unbeliveably awful.
For the past week all I've done is eat.
I've had no control over myself I just stuffed it all in and I've gained a pound - in a week!

Jack called me fat today. He said shutup you fat cunt.

Where's my will power. Luckily I've got the gym tomorow. I've not been allowed to go 'cos I hurt my neck.

If I snack on celery all day. Little bits will that be okay do you think?

Argh I have to loose weight by not this saturday the one after.
I got a party and the boy I like is going to be there!

Help?
Advice?
Encouragement?

eva-rose@hotmail.com

:(

Please I need to talk to someone.


xxxx

Today

Scrambled egg on toast and weetabix is all i've eaten today.
I went to the gym - didnt burn off much - only 200 calories but I did to 150 on the ab crunch and my stomach feels so achy its gorgeous.

I keep getting lectured from my friends who are boys.
"Why arent you eating - your calorie intake is dangerously low - do you want to be anorexic"

I felt like saying its to fucking late I have a problem why cant you help me.
But I stopped myself. Even if I did say would they care?

I cant stop staring at my blobby stomach. Ergh I make myself feel sick. 
I need to do this. I need to get thin.

If anyone wants to talk add my msn.

eva-rose@hotmail.com

I need someone to talk to.
I feel so alone.

If it wasnt for this I would have failed so long ago.

:):)

228 calories today :) Eekkk so proud of myself

I did 50 on the ab crunch and bloody hell I can feel it.

My mums been going on abit though.
Oh well I just layer on the fake tan - it makes you look healthier and thinner :)

Eeee im so happy

50 sit ups tonight before bed :)

Good luck girls!
You'll get addicted to this feeling!

xxxxx

Today

Three packets of special k mini breaks - 297 ARGH
A tangerine - 37 calories
Toast - 70 calories
Tea - 27 calories
Square of chocolate - 10 calories? 

Total - 440 CALORIES!!!!

I feel so awful :|

Some information for you girls

To be a size six you need these are the measurements

Bust - 79.5cm
Waist - 62.4cm
Hip - 84cm

We can all be smaller than that.
Trust me we can do it!

Anyone fancy joining me on the 100lbs by summer plan?

Diet consists of

- water
- smoothies (gives you vitamins yet its a liquid ;))
- small salads with no dressings!
- only meat you can eat is fish
- lots of sleep! 
 
if your hungry then
- smoke a cigerate ( it kills appetitie)
- brush your teeth
- drink lots of water

DONT CHEW GUM

it makes you hungry!!

just think of marykate and ashley.

think of being beautiful for summer. we can all do this.

Think thin!

Plans

My Plans

I feel so motivated. Even though yesterday was a complete waste of this weeks acheivments.
I scoffed down so many sweets I feel sick thinking about it.
Then I saw pictures of The Olsen twins and there such thinspiration!

Yesterdays weigh in and binge is even more motivation.
I can do this and I will!

By the 9th of August I'm going to be 90. :):)

Stay thin girls!